Storm

There's no clouds out tonight, yet it is pouring. These memories in my head, yet I am warm in my bed, I will pray while I'm mourning. Everyone tells me, that healing takes time. Yes it's all bittersweet, still I'm incomplete as I long for something to call mine.

So when it is raining, Picture me crying for outside I'm living but inside I'm slowly dying one heartbeat at a time. My spirit is chained to this earth and I long to break free. The nights of misery and days of lost wonder, when will it end? I'm lost in the dark with no light in a multi-dimensional vortex of insanity yet I'm sane to the thought and numb to the touch.

This storm whispers to me. It tells me lies and sings a truth. I struggle each night, am I losing this fight? If I were to pray for the rain? So I will resurrect my past when the forecast should call for thunder and wind, let the lighting begin and then my teardrops can fall.

Where do I belong and where is home? I've been waiting for a sign, so tell me where do I belong? I know where I belong at this very moment and I know my feelings are destined pulses of reality. I belong in my soulmates' arms. I will find shelter there and protection.

But for now I fear the worst. I am no one's wife yet someones mother. Emptiness fills my body and I silently scream for salvation. The white wedding dress that is a material figment of my fairytale is the same dress I will be buried in yet I have only worn it once.

Tonight I cry. The sky is clear and there is not a cloud in sight. My tears produce emotional precipitation as I wipe the purified,liquid pain from my cheek. God, why am I here? What do I have to do to get to where I need to be? Am I suffering for heaven or is this my hell on earth. Please tell me, for I yearn for your mercy.

I am so tired. Is this breath my last or is it the first breath to a new life. There are answers without questions and questions with blank responses. Nothing makes sense and there is no logic to the defined entities that clutter my spirit.

I can hear the wind howling as the midnight shadows form their position. They will chase me and even interogate me in my slumber. My mind demons that know my weaknesses and flee from my strengths.

I will find you soulmate and I will run to you. Wait for me for I am coming and very soon. The weather, (much like my existence) is predicting a 50% PERCENT CHANCE OF heartache. The memories are chasing me. I am ready to jump off my balcony of hopelessness. Are your arms ready for me? Because it going to be a brutal STORM.