Bless The Broken Road

Life is without a doubt, unpredictable. It seems like only yesterday when I moved to Billings Montana and then to Powell, Wyoming. So much has happened and in so little time. I was watching the sunset a fews nights ago and it spoke to me. It said, "It's time to move on. This town is full of heartache and bad memories." However, there are also good memories that I will take with me. Becoming a journalist was just a thought about a year ago. I have established what I have was set out to do. A few weeks ago I went to my spot in the rims in Billings. Montana. I sat on a rock that was special to me. It's more like a tombstone that now holds an old significant meaning. It was this very rock that I cried, loved and claimed salvation. Everything in my life has led up to this very moment. With a pen in my hand I began to write in the empty journal I purchased on sale at Target. I asked God for a sign and wrote,"Bless the broken road." Having no idea what it meant, I began to write about my journey from Billings to Powell. I thought that I had everything planned out until my dreams came to a brutal halt in August 2009. Reality stopped me dead in my tracks I didn't know where to go. I remember starting college in August and it was the hardest decision I had to make. There was nothing left for me where I was living but something inside me told me to stay. Regardless of some setbacks, I continued on with my studies and managed to write for the college newspaper. That was just a stepping stone for me. Months later I launched my own websites and even claimed an article in a well-known woman's magazine, (TBA). While I maintained a 3.83, I also focused on my family. There were so many nights when I became homesick. It was hard not having any family and it was even more emotionally challenging without my kids. I may not mention them on public forums but that is because I like to keep my private life, private. My kids are my heart and soul. If anyone has anything else to say about that, well they can take a long walk off a short treadmill. Don't get me wrong, opinions are like a**holes. Everyone has them. Putting it in a delicate form, "don't come knocking on my door unless the facts are true and accurate." I don't feel that people are out to get me, I just feel misunderstood. Reacting on impulse has a disadvantage that always seems to backfire even when my intentions were meant to be good.

Back to the main point:

Everything that has happened to me, good and bad in this little town, Powell, Wyoming. has changed me forever. It was like a mental bootcamp not knowing who your real friends were. It was even worse not knowing who your enemies were even though some were made clear. I AM a good person who is just making a name for herself. It happens to the best of us. I admit that I have made some piss poor decisions in the past, but I learned from them. I became a better person because of them. Someone once told me, "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger." That is so so true. I never imagined being where I am today. My life has made a full circle and it led to me right back to where I started.

It was the next day when God gave me my sign. I was on the phone with my boyfriend and he asked me about a certain song. Before he could even speak the name, I blurted it out. there was a few moments of silence. I could hear in his voice that I already knew the song before he even said it. It was was the song I wrote in my journal just the day before, Bless the broken road.

So after I received my sign, I knew that my journey was going to take me home. I will never truly understand how the hell I ended up in Wyoming, but it is what it is. It was a difficult time being in such an isolated little town, but it built character and charisma. I will take the good memories and run with them.

So now what? I have a road map of what I am going to do, but I am not really sure how to do it. All I know is that I will pray for the people who tried to hurt me and bring me down when I was already wounded. That is all I can do. I wish nothing bad on anyone. I just want the truth to be revealed someday. Sadly, even if that never happens, at least I know my heart was in the right place. Not only am I packing dishes and knick-knacks in boxes from Walmart, I am also packing what is left of my dreams. This world can be a dark and lonely place and even more so when you are on your own. I do believe that there is a soulmate for everyone. I have been re-connected with mine and it couldn't have happened at a better time. Although I have faith in what the LORD has planned out for me, it doesn't hurt to have someone who is there to support me too. I am not sure where this next chapter is going to lead me but I just have to go with it. I have so much to do and in so little time. I will never forget who I am and where I came from. It is time to battle the unknown and aim for a victory. A good challenge is far better than a boring assumption. I will not go quietly into the night and I will not let the storm weather my spirit. I am going to do what I need to do. The path is right before me and is lit with integrity. As I close my eyes, I can visualize all that I have lost but I can hear the Lord's voice of reassurance whispering, "bless the broken road." Somehow I know everything is going to come together......