Divine Intervention

I wanted to run but had nowhere to run to. I wanted to hide but could not find a safe shelter. As I gazed into the vanity mirror my reflection taunted me saying,'this is you and who you will remain.' I wanted it to shatter. My skin was pale, my mascara was smeared and my eyes were swollen from the tears. Looking over to the left, I saw a picture of my mother. A feeling of emptiness came over me. While I was reaching for my bottle of alcoholic comfort, I could hear her voice telling me,"Please deal with the pain child. I promise it won't hurt forever." I didn't believe her. Leaning my head back I poured the healing liquid down my throat. There was a feeling of instant warmth and suddenly I felt pacified. After a few minutes, I repeated the steps. It was the key to my survival for the night. Glaring at the empty bed did not make sleep appealing or needful. Loneliness had won again and it was rewarded with my misery. Memories danced through my head like a woven tapestry. Although there were many colors, the color black seeped through, creating an abstract of illusion. Everything I have ever dreamed of bled through the textured crevices, creating blotches that resembled finger paints. Love has destroyed me and I fear I will never love again. Was I drained for all eternity or would time refill me? My present identity was an alien that wandered without concept.

I was dizzy as I stood up from my life-less kneeling position. Glancing over at my desk I noticed a notebook that was sticking out just enough to catch my eye. I reached over and pulled it out from the library of journals I managed to collect over the years. With no particular page in mind I opened up the notebook. To my surprise there was a sketch of eccentric numbers and a presently defined place. It was destiny drawn years before I stood here. How could that be? Yet there it was in pencil and shadow. I have always believed in angels and purpose but I never believed in divine intervention. I turned a few pages and there was another sketch that revealed a handsome man and a princess. It felt as if it was speaking to me. I knew it was. I could feel it. Within moments, I sat on my bed and began to collect my thoughts. I was unaware that my own drawings had specific dates and events in detail. I was no longer searching for an absolution. The answer I was desperately seeking somehow found me. It is no secret that I long for love. Love is a great mystery that I may never solve. In the midst of my journey's I have found that there is a reason for everything. People come and go but are brought into our lives for a reason. No matter how long they stay, there is something they left behind. Whether it is words of wisdom or even heartache, the encounter was planned. There may never be an explanation but there was a purpose. Whatever that purpose may be, you can't always rely on fate. Sometimes you have to wait for divine intervention. Until then, you must continue on the unknown path because you never know when the search may end. ~~~~Someone may be loving me from afar or perhaps the love of my life is waiting for me to find him. A picture speaks a thousand words but somehow my sketches spoke a million lifetimes.