NEVER LOOK BACK

Friday, November 26, 2010

It's my first November and I will Live, Laugh and Love until the next one.

I WATCHED THIS MOVIE TONIGHT FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I BELIEVE THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON IN LIFE. THIS TOUCHED HOME FOR ME AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

Monday, November 22, 2010

An Angel's Prayer






The angel closed her eyes as she slowly laid her head down on her pillow.

It felt like the coldest night of the year as she wrapped her body in the imaginary embrace that she longed for every night.

She took a deep breath, paused for a moment and then took another breath. Shivering in hopes of getting warm, she could feel a single tear form in the corner of her eye.

Trying to hold back her pain she sat up and whispered to herself. “Lord, please send me someone to love me. I can’t face another night yet another day. I long to feel needed and cherished."

With little faith she tilted her head down, exhaled and began to weep. Her hands were like ice while cupping her face as the tears began to fall.

Helpless to her emotions there was little she could do to comfort herself. The loneliness was wearing on her and the empty shadow of her silhouette reminded her that she was in fact, alone.

There was nothing left for her to do but pray, believe and surrender. After hours of grieving, she finally kneeled beside her bed and began to speak aloud.

“Will I ever love again and will anyone ever love me? I know I am broken but I am fixable. Time has not mended my wounds for my wounds will never fully heal until my pact is fulfilled.” She whispered gently, one word at a time. “My pact is to find another broken soul and then together, we can become whole again. I’m lost and no one has found me although I have been searching for that one angel, that one “broken” angel.

As the morning grew closer she became tired and fell asleep hunched over the end of the bed, almost in a fetal position.

When the sun began to shine through the small opening in the curtains, she slowly opened her eyes.

Without knowing why, she glanced over at a shiny object on her bed. Without knowing what it was she picked it up. It was a glass crystal heart. It was a little smaller than a baseball as she held it in the palm of her hand.

Not knowing how it got there she looked around the room and noticed some faint writing on her armoire mirror. She walked closer and closer and to her astonishment she read.” Here is the heart of a broken soul, night after night as pain took its toll. For this heart is yours and your heart is theirs, to let angels know I hear all their prayers.”

The angel closed the glass heart in her hand and brought it to her chest. There was no explanation for how the heart and message appeared but at this point, it no longer mattered. It was real and it happened.

Broken angels never fully heal and they will carry the burden of their broken hearts for many lifetimes until they are matched with their broken soul mate.

Until that time arrives, there are simple reminders that they are really not alone. Someone somewhere is hurting just as badly as they are. When the nights become unbearable, an angel must remember that another broken angel is praying too and almost in sync.

Patience in this matter is far more than a virtue. Just when she feels that she cannot hang on any longer, she will discover a sign. It will be a simple sign but she will know that someone has heard her crying. An emotional, melodic whisper that is better known as “an angels’ prayer.”

Sunday, November 14, 2010

An Angel's Promise




It was four years ago today on November 14th 2006 when my mother took her last breathe of air on earth.


I have so many memories of our happy times together.


It seems like only yesterday when I could hear my mother’s voice singing while she played the guitar. I was just a little girl still and I would have my Barbie dolls dance to the music while she strummed away.


I was told that when she was nine months pregnant with me that I would kick the back of her guitar whenever she played. She knew that I would be a singer and musician before I was even born. It was a gift she passed on to me in the womb and something that I would cherish for always.


The day my mother passed away was a serious turning point in my life. Something in me changed and something in me died too.


It took me two years to finally accept that she was gone. I spent so many nights drowning her loss indulged in wine, glass after glass, hoping the pain would subside. However the liquid cover-up just numbed what I did not want to feel and re-determined what I did not want to believe.


Four years later it still feels like it was all a bad dream.


A few weeks before the angels came to take her, I remember a heart-to-heart conversation we had.


She told that everything happens for a reason and that she would make things right somehow. Not really understanding what she meant, I still shook my head like I understood.


It took some time but I realize now what she was trying to tell me.


Regardless of the fact she was under a lot of medication, I knew that she was coherent enough to know what she was trying to tell me.


Somehow she was giving me a for-warning about the events that she knew I would encounter. All she ever wanted for me was to find happiness and love.


My mother was always there to hold my hand, especially through my first broken heart when I was only 18 years old. Her heart broke whenever I cried and she told me that time would heal all my wounds.


Not a day goes by when I don’t think about my mother. Whether it’s a butterfly that lands on the windowsill or a song that comes on the radio, there is always something that reminds me of her. Sometimes I smile and sometimes I cry.

She often shows me signs that she is with me and the signs are very obvious and undeniable. There is no such thing as coincidences in my book and there have been unexplainable events that occurred, some immediately after she passed.


Sometimes when I look up into the sky there is a huge ‘X,’ and I know that is her way of saying, “hello daughter.”


Other times I will see 11:11 for days at a time as if I’m on a schedule to see it.


Until it is my time to leave this earth I will never truly understand death. Is death just a new beginning for a new calling or is it a promotion to a new mission?


Angels do exist and I have seen one in my life. My mother did visit me on one occasion and it was the most amazing thing I had ever seen.


When she came to me that one night, I was a mess. Feeling helpless and crying, I remember dozing off. When I awoke to a partial level, there she was, right beside me.


The room was glowing with a golden-glow while she looked at me and told me, “I promise everything will be okay. I promise.” Then I fell back asleep.


Miracles do happen and at the most unforeseen times. When I feel lost I just close my eyes and envision that moment. It gives me strength and helps me through the night.


A mother’s love is stronger than any other love in the world. Second chances are granted to anyone who believes in them.


There is no doubt in my mind that my mother is my guardian angel. She watches over me and her grandbabies, keeping us safe from harm.


I don’t know what tomorrow holds or if tomorrow will even arrive but there is one thing I know for sure.


No matter what has happened or will happen, once an angel makes a promise, then the bond will never be broken. For it is no ordinary promise. It is an eternal commitment that is written in the heavens. It is an angel’s promise.


IN MEMORY OF MY MOTHER WHO LOST HER BATTLE TO LUNG CANCER NOVEMBER 14TH, 2006. SHE IS MISSED AND LOVED VERY MUCH.......

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The "Lonely, crying angel."



It was late in the afternoon, on the 9th of October when a couple visited their deceased grandmother at the neighborhood cemetery after several years.

While the couple replaced the old, dried flowers with fresh new white roses they noticed a statue of an angel that had not been there before. It was only a few feet away from their grandmother’s gravestone.

The gentleman looked over at his girlfriend with a puzzled look and said, “Honey, I don’t recall this being here last year.”

“I don’t either,” she replied with an identical look on her face. “It’s so odd although it is beautiful although it looks so depressing.”



The woman was curious and walked over to the statue and stared at it for a moment. It seemed so life-like for being made of stone. It appeared to be cold and longing for some embracement. There were even salt markings from what appeared to be a trail of dried tears.



The more the woman stared at it, the more it began to tell a story. A sad story of how it ended up there with no explanation.



Little did the couple know how the statue was once a living angel who was once in love with a mortal man who broke her heart and re-determined her destined fate.



Once happy in love, the angel did everything she could for the chosen love of her life. It wasn’t until the angel cried for the first time when she realized the mortal’s soul was made of stone.



Even after her many warnings, the angel believed that she could warm the soul of the man who was condemned to being unbreakable and invincible to love.



Many years passed and the angel became weak after her many attempts to show the lost man how to be compassionate- but her attempts were futile. She had lost hope and faith. The only thing her soon-to-be- lost love ever gave her was a white rose.



The angel was warned one last time and after she failed to listen, she was banned from her home until she could set the man free. As the angel clutched the almost withered white rose, she bargained her wings and flew away.



On the last night of her freedom, she closed her eyes and took his hand for the final time.



“My darling, do you love me? If so then why do you show no compassion for me when I hurt? When I cry?” The angel said with a sorrowful look in her eyes. “Please, tell me. This is our last chance.”



The angel began to cry. Once again the man showed no mercy as he stood up and just walked away. The angel prayed and prayed for one meaningful embrace to show her that he at least cared. That embrace never happened.



Moments later the sky filled with clouds and began to rain. The angel weeping tried to fly but her wings were too soaked and heavy.



Refusing to obey her last warning, the angel began to turn to stone. The more the rain fell, the harder her skin began to feel.



Not understanding what was happening she yelled out to the sky, “What is going on?”



“You would not leave the heartless man alone and he has drained you of you happy spirit. You knew his heart was made of stone and now you must suffer the consequences.” A voice said from above her. “You will be cast as stone until he finally asks for forgiveness for what he did to you. I am sorry angel.”



The angel closed her eyes, accepted her earthly sentence and then fell into a deep slumber.



When she awoke she was re-incarnated into a stone statue. Her spirit was alive but trapped by the hardened shell overlooking a peaceful cemetery.



It was getting late and the cemetery was going to close for the night.



“Honey, it’s time to go.” The gentleman said while reaching for his girlfriend’s hand. “How does Chinese sound for dinner?”



“Chinese sounds great.” The woman said while wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. “I didn’t realize what time it was. I’m starving.”



The woman took a deep breath and took one last look at the angelic monument.



As the couple began to walk away, the woman turned around, bent down and picked up a white rose from her grandmothers headstone.



Without knowing why, the woman place the white rose on the angel’s wing. As the couple walked away, the woman looked back and swore she saw a tear falling from the angels’ eye.



It was after that day and decades to come when the stone statue was finally named the “Lonely, crying angel.”



However, she only cried when a single white rose was placed on her wing-for she will spend eternity longing for the arms of a man who never loved her.





(C)Kimberly Morrow/2010/Dorance Publishing

Saturday, November 6, 2010

I PRAY THY LORD MY ANGEL TO TAKE




Even when an angel gives her wings, it is often that she is still left empty.


It was the 23rd, dark and most painful night for the angel who gave her all. A wing for a wing but still she could not fly and she could not cry anymore.


The room was dark, cold and weary when she decided to let it all go; That is to end her mortal and angelic life. Perhaps her destiny was pre-determined once again.


When a bed of an angels last resting place is seemingly cold, then she knows it is her time to close her eyes and never awake again.

.

The mentally suicidal angel has had enough. She has saved all the souls she could save all the while she will have to pray for her own salvation.


A lost love for another lost cause, it doesn't matter how much she contributed to the one she loved fiercely yet innocently.


The pain in her chest was not a call for attention. It was a scream for assistance and no one was wise enough to hear their own English language in desperation.


It was the saddest day for the angel of doom. The minutes counted down and the hours passed without memory.


She closed her eyes and saw only dark light and water.


As she took her last and final breath she remembered how love once felt.


"He was like air to my lungs and water to my thirst." as she silently spoke to herself as she drank the last sip of her painless juice. " Now I can't breath and now I cannot drink water to preserve my existence."


Minutes later she fell asleep and never awoke again.


When her loved ones found her seven days later they knew she was finally at peace.


So sad that a good-hearted angel had to give her life to save someone who doesn't even know he was saved...........

Monday, November 1, 2010

THE TRUTH ABOUT ANGELS AND FROGS



It was many years ago when the angel was just a little girl and dreamed about finding her true love.



At night she would look out her bedroom window and into the sky full of stars. She often would pick the brightest star and make a wish.



“Star-light, star-light, first star I see tonight,” she would say with a gleam of hope in her eyes. “I wish for someone to hold me tight.”



The little angel had heard about kissing frogs in fairytales but had no idea the truth behind the storybook myths. She had many chapters to read and frogs to kiss before finding the love of her life or so she thought.



She was just a little angel when she kissed her first and only frog named Harold. Her first kiss was somewhat awkward and she released him into the darkness one night only to regret letting him go later on.



Then seven years later he hopped back into her life and once again she kissed him. This time is was different. This time the kiss was magical and the angel and the frog fell deeply in love.



She was hoping that he would finally turn into her prince. Months passed and she waited patiently.



Convinced she had found everlasting companionship the angel waited and waited but nothing ever happened. Then one day Harold decided to hop away and he never returned for it was apparent that he was distracted by something other than his devoted angel.



Heartbroken with disappointment, the angel cried for many years and prayed that her fair-weather knight in armor would return someday. Sadly, he never did that is until another 7 years later.



By this time, the angel had grown up to be the most beautiful angel of all angels. She had the purest of hearts and even though she had been hurt before she decided to kiss him one more time. After all, he said he was sorry for leaving her and swore he would never leave again.



It was a romantic, moon-lit night when she closed her eyes and gently kissed her long lost frog for the third and final time. Not only was the moment magical it was everything she had been longing for.



Harold had finally turned into a prince and it was the happiest moment in her life. They were inseparable and for the first time in a long time, she felt she had found everything she had been wishing for.



Every night she would kiss her prince on the cheek while he would sleep and would vision their lifetime together. They shared their hopes and dreams and nothing seemed more perfect.



It wasn’t until a few months later when her fairytale decided to take an unexpected turn for the worst.



One day when she returned from her walk in the heavens, she had found a note that her prince had left her.



It was just a simple piece of white paper with one word written on it. It said, “Good-bye.”



She did not know what to think or understand how he could do this to her. “We seemed so happy.” She thought to herself and she dropped to her knees and began to weep. “I gave him everything. I trusted him and now he has betrayed me once again.”



A few weeks later she had accepted that her prince had left and began to live her life as usual. Her heart was beyond broken but she kept his memory close. There are some nights when she still picks her lucky star to wish on although she has little hope.



She finally came to realize that no matter how much love is invested in a first, second or third kiss, a kiss of true love does not mean the two lovers will last forever.



As much as it hurt she knew she had to let him go. Love is free will and no one can make someone love them back -not even an angel. Fairytales are just stories and it was obvious their chapter was over and once again for the third time.



However, there are times when she will see a frog hop by and wonder, “will he ever come back to again?”



Unfortunately, that day will never come. Harold was now a handsome prince who used the angels’ love to get what he wanted. He no longer needed her and he made that clear with his one word, Dear John letter.



This is the hardened truth about angels and frogs and as an angel she had to learn the painful way more than one time……(but she will never lose hope). For one day she will find her true love.