No Mercy

There is always a period of calmness after any storm. The rain suddenly stops, the wind becomes a gentle breeze and there is a small ray of light that peaks through the clouds.

If only life could be a similar forecast. No matter how many tears may fall, no matter how much a heart hurts, or no matter how much emotional effort is put into something, life shows no mercy. Futuristic hopes collide with the disappointments from the past. Dreams are shattered pieces of symbolic moments and broken promises. Darkness fills the empty holes of everything you once believed in. Reality salutes fantasy and there is nothing more to look forward to.

Life is full of obstacles and there are many roadblocks. Warning signs are not legible until it is too late. Whether it is a friend, family member or loved one that let you down, it still hurts the same. It is an in-describable feeling that burns through every layer of your heart. It smells like burnt skin that has been singed over an open fire. It leaves a sick feeling in your stomach a taste of fresh vomit in your mouth.

As I sit here in my hotel room I am filled with so many different emotions. Some are happy and some are excruciatingly painful. My eyes long to cry but no tears will fall. The unbearable ache inside of me is present but there is nothing visible on the outside. Tomorrow I have to depart from my happy place to try and conquer a former happy place. I have high hopes that both places will somehow merge. This journey has left me desperate for stability. I long for a peaceful surrender and soft-spoken amendments that could salvage what is on the verge of being permanently destroyed.

SO................................................

Tonight I will pray. Not just for myself but for those who have betrayed my trust. During my 35 years of living, I have loved and I have lost. I have lived and I will die someday. Whatever happens in between is up to God. Silence weeps as I pick up the pieces of my past. As much as I want to remain here, I understand that I have to go. However, I plan to return or have what I left return to me. Life is a double-edged sword and I will not let my life-line be cut at both ends. Life may show no mercy but I will show life no prisoners. I have been held captive by circumstance for many years and I am no longer a prisoner. I am no longer chained to a stone-cold rock and life is no longer my burden........