PICTURE PERFECT ANGEL

An angel’s heart is like a photograph of frozen memories that will never set her free. She has no choice but to surrender herself to the forbidden ecstasy of someone she truly loved and will forever share an everlasting bond with.



She painted a perfect picture of everything she wanted and everything she longed for. For awhile the picture came to life and all the colors were vibrant like a beautiful sunrise on a summer morning. Sadly, over time it has faded like watercolors washed away by the rain and weathered by the storm.



Now the picture is colorless and lifeless like a black and white silent film. There is evidence of what once existed but the story has been interrupted. Everything that happened before and after is somewhere lost in between and will never be found. It will remain an unsolved mystery with an incomplete climax.



The sweet words that were spoken are now spoken in a different language she can’t understand. Their hearts are no longer fluent, embracing the dreams that have been shattered and broken.



A picture has so many visual emotions both joyous and painful. It hurts to remember the good times yet it hurts to let them go. Her tears are smeared on a piece of history that will forever remind her of what she can no longer hold.



Although the room is silent, the picture sings a soft melodic cry only she can hear and recognize. She will lay in the comfort of her own wings while she embraces her loss.



The years will pass and she will never let go of what she once believed in. Love is free will but sometimes there are no choices when it comes to destined heartache.



She will watch him from the heavens and pray for him before she sleeps. The time they shared together meant so much and she is forever grateful.



Love is a story will alternate endings and sometimes the endings are almost identical. No matter how the chapter begins there is no re-writing the conclusion. There is no altering what is meant to be.



She will hold the picture close to her always and live her life as planned. He will always remain as in her spirit and she will always be his picture perfect angel who dwells in his mind from time to time. A picture can be burned or put away but it will randomly appear in some form reminding the lovers of what true love once was.

Broken Angel-Memoir by Kimberly Morrow

It seems the past few months I have purposely preoccupied myself with meaningless time. That is more than likely the reason I was abruptly awakened this morning. My thoughts had nowhere else to manifest except for the keypad of my laptop.

For not being much of a reader when I was younger I find it odd to find myself sitting down day after day writing my own novel.

I hardly consider myself a brilliant author who can analyze quantum physics in three different languages. However, I am a truthful writer and that is what gives my words life. Somehow my emotions flow fluently from my mind to my fingers into this electronic diary.

It was sometime in January this year when I came up with the idea for Broken Angels, Memoirs of Kimberly Morrow. Funny how my own idea fascinated me. My first entry was vague but personal. As the months passed I began to vision actual angels and shortly thereafter, I began to research what a broken angel really was. Somehow it all came together and I was pleased with my direction.

I usually avoid speaking in first person because it opens the door my vulnerability. It's a non-fictional story that reveals everything that I am or once was. I could speak of an angel and an encounter that related to me but there was still a wall between me and the reader.

Truth is, when I write about broken angels, I am really speaking of my personal experiences. My definition of a broken angel is a mirror image of who I am inside but with an anonymous name-tag.

Someone once told me that "What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger." There is definite logic to the saying because life can sometimes hand us a plate that is already too full.

I admit that love is my weakness and has been since I was very young. Lacking will power doomed me from the beginning. I planted seeds in my garden of dreams and it was devastating to see some of those dreams literally disintegrate right before my eyes.

There were so many pieces to pick up and I had no idea where to place them. It was humanly impossible; Like filing in alphabetical order with no letters in a dark and abandoned library with no windows.

The quote, "it is better to have loved than never to have loved at all," is a pathetic order of words in my opinion. It's a saying that has done me no justice yet sounds pretty when I wanted to change a subject and quickly. Those words were like a get out of jail free card when avoiding having to explain my loss in detail.

I would have been happier never to have loved before because once I lost love, I lost a part of myself. It felt more physical then emotional because every part of me hurt. It felt like someone had died and then passed the suffering on to me. It was the most horrific feeling I had ever felt. How on earth could something that once made me so happy now make me so miserable?

The darkness seemed to comfort me more than the light. Hours upon days I would wonder around like a lifeless zombie able to function but not able to feel. There were times when I couldn't even cry because there were no more tears left. I lost months of my existence because I was still in denial. I didn't want to believe that everything I believed in had failed me.

Food had no taste and life lacked excitement. I found no pleasure in the things that once pleased me. All inspiration was put on hold and silence filled my soul that once was filled with melodic music. All was lost and all seemed hopeless. Unfortunately, there is no exact date when all the pain would magically subside should the day even arrive.

So yes, I am broken although I wear an armored suit that nothing can pierce. Time doesn't always heal all wounds it just buys time for a person to figure out how to co-exist with the eternal pain. For I feel even in death, I will never be free.


It doesn't matter how strong I am because I will always be a broken angel. Everyone has been broken at one time or another and there will always be a sad love story for someone to write about.



Entry from Broken Angels-Memoirs of Kimberly Morrow
D. publishing/copyright 2010/123

I WILL CRY (Breast Cancer Awareness Month) Kimberly Morrow

WHEN ANGELS CRY

BOOK OF DOSIANA' --Page 23

A dark figure in a hooded robe appeared before the broken angel named Dosiana. The figure was holding a black book and did not say a word. Dosiana lay there on the cold cement ground of her cell staring at the intruder in a peaceful fear.


Her wings were stained with blood after her many attempts to tear them off. After she had fallen from the heavens many years ago when she lost her desire to ever fly again. She had a sacred secret that she never shared with anyone.


In hopes of being set free from the darkness she yelled for the darkish figure to reveal him or herself.


Dosiana cried out, "Are you here to save me? Who are you?" In desperation she crawled over the little spot of light on the ground. The steel bars only allowed so much sunlight during the day and moonlight by the night.


Her chains and shackles were heavy barely letting her move. The unknown figure remained silent as it hovered a few feet away from her.


She began to weep and lowered her head in hopelessness as if the moments ahead would be her ultimate death.


With compassion the dark figure removed her hood only to reveal a beautiful angel in disguise. The cell began to glow with a luminous light as the angel removed the robe completely. There she stood in silk, white dress that appeared to be a wedding dress.


Dosiana looked up and asked the other angel, "What is your name?" In a soft spoken voice the angel replied, "My name is Arbetelia. I am your angel of light and your savior from death."


"You cannot live in the darkness forever. It is not your destiny." Said Arbetelia. "I have something for you to read."


Arbetelia handed Dosiana the black book. It appeared to be very old and had an engraving of the number 23 on the cover.


She opened the book only to reveal that all the pages were blank.


"This doesn't make any sense" Dosiana said to Arbetelia. "What is the purpose of this?"


She threw the book down on the ground and turned her head away.


"Dosiana, do not worry the pages are very full. Just because you cannot see the ink does not mean nothing exists." Arbetelia said with a stern look on her face. "You need to look closer and in a different light."


When she held up the pages of the book up to the little light she still saw nothing. She became frustrated as she assumed it was some trick.


"I don't believe in magic!" Dosiana said with an angered look on her face. " ARBETELIA? What are you trying to do to me?!"


"Your destiny is not to read life in the dark" Arbetelia said while she bent down and gently took Dosiana's hand. "This is how living your life in the dark looks. Pages without words and life with no hope. Faith was your ink and this is all you have to show for it after you fell in love with that mortal man. A tough lesson but you needed to learn."


Dosiana began to understand. While she longed for a forbidden love her world became darker and darker. She had saved many people but never released the memory of the mortal who broke her heart. Angels are not suppose to become attached to someone who can’t understand ANGELS. He stole her spirit and her energy. When she imprisoned herself on earth she never spoke of him again and sentenced herself to eternal misery.


Dosiana surrendered her wings for this man and was cast out of her heavenly home shortly after-wards. With a fairytale image she believed that she could alter her destiny and make him love her. She sacrificed everything and he moved on a married another mortal.


Sadly, Dosiana spent days and days weeping while she watched him live a happy life with his new beloved. He never loved her and it just so happened that it rained on earth for many weeks before she gave up her wings completely.


The purpose of the number 23 imprinted on the book signified the years Dosiana spent in the dark, alone and miserable on earth. The pages were blank because she stopped living and lost her faith.


"Are you ready to fly again broken angel? It is all up to you." Arbetelia said as she handed her a gold, antique looking pen. "This is the beginning of your destiny although is never ended. You must find yourself again and come home."


Dosiana took the pen and the book. As she opened the cover to the first page, her chains and shackles fell off one by one. For 23 years she had lost her passion for everything and now it was time to live again.


She pressed the pen onto the paper and began to journal,” New beginnings" and then paused for a moment.


"Dosiana", Arbetelia said. "You cannot make up for the last 23 years. Now you must move forward. The empty pages await you now. It's time to go."


Dosiana closed the cover of the book and from that day forward she never looked back. Many years passed and she never loved again but she didn't let her loss and pain chain her down any longer.


Sadly, Dosiana stills leaves page 23 empty in every journal she has since written in. Perhaps there is still hope that whenever it rains, her lost love may look up into the sky and wave good-bye to her one last time.



Written by Kimberly Morrow

Copyright D.Publishing 2010